Can resistance make trauma, stress, and conflict worse?

Big T and little t trauma, conflict, stress, and things outside of our control can cause negative mental health and physical sensations in our bodies.  Here, we can explore how resistance to those things can make our symptoms worse.

The resistance to things we can’t control, our responses to them, our unmet expectations could potentially make the trauma worse. Our response and how we react to situations can either calm the situation down or it can make the situation worse.  The work I am doing is to help people regulate their nervous systems so that no matter what gets thrown at them, however bad it is, they will be able to respond in a better way so that its not as physically and mentally painful and stressful for them.

Traumatic things, conflict, stress can be bad all on their own.

Ask yourself if your responses and reactions to those things are helping or making it worse.

Is your resistance making it worse?

Is fighting the thing making it worse?

Is fighting the system making it worse?

Sometimes you can make things easier by how you react to them.

Pause.

Acknowledge the situation.

Accept it for what it is (so many things are outside of our control)

Figure out ways to navigate around the situation, to make it easier (coaching and therapy can help with this)

What in your life are you resisting or fighting? 

What in your life is hard to accept? 

What do you wish you could change about others, or a situation (that deep down you know will probably never change)?

Are you expecting another person to change?  To see your side?  To understand you? To apologize? 

These things may never happen…

As long as you are holding on to that resistance, expecting that person to change when they won’t, it could make the conflict and stress worse.

Step back from your expectations.  Recognize things may not change.  Accept things for what they are.

How are you going to take care of yourself to be able to move forward with less stress?

How are you going to keep your nervous system regulated?

What are you going to include in your self care routine?

Activity:

Journal

10-15 minutes 

Think of something that is causing you stress or pain and free write about it

Do a giant brain dump

Feel all those bigs feelings you have been avoiding

You can use dictation software, type, or write with pen and paper (and destroy or delete afterwords if you want)

Say the things you have been avoiding saying out loud, or thinking, or feeling

Its just you and your writing practice

Let your irrational brain get it all out

10-15 minutes

Tap into your rational thinking brain

Reflect on what came up

Anything you can take action on?

Anything you want to talk to a therapist or coach about?

Any way you can adjust your expectations?

What can you learn to accept?